By. Ran
Yes, you are free to say that I am a bitch because I stand up for myself. I won’t stay silent when someone takes advantage of me or deliberately tries to make a fool out of me. I will speak up and defend myself. I treat myself with the due respect I deserve and I do not have a problem with cutting people off my life. I have this amazing ability of removing toxic people from my life, for my own good. I have no time or energy to deal with other people’s bullshit so pardon me if I do not care.
My kindness and love are not free. You have to earn them; and I warn you, it is not gonna be easy earning them. I won’t be nice and polite unless you treat me the same way. I will not fake smile when you make me feel bad. I promise you, you will be treated exactly the same way you treat me.
My silence can sometimes come across as arrogance and my loud nature may be perceived as me being cocky. But what you just see is not true. It is easier to misjudge people you know nothing about. It is not easy to connect with people on a deeper level as it requires a higher level of maturity and vulnerability. If you want to feel people, you have to expose yourself on a deeper level.
I may look like I don’t give a damn about what happens to anyone, but deep down, I care. I care a lot about people I love, people I cherish. I am very sensitive and I get hurt easily, and that is why I always have my guard up. Of course, you have to walk past many layers of me to see the real me. Once you connect with me, you will see that I am an open minded person who will not judge you for your silly decisions.
Some say that I am cold-hearted, but the truth is that I try to take care of myself. I cut toxic people off not because I don’t love them, but because they give me nothing but negativity. I still love them and miss them even though I walked out on them for my happiness. So if choosing myself makes me a bitch, so be it.
If not wearing my heart on the sleeve makes me a bitch, then okay. My arrogance and cold-heartedness is only an act, a defensive mechanism I put on to protect myself. Deep inside, there is a heart that loves and wants to be loved.
