By. Ran
I have always been a people pleaser. I tend to make people happy at all costs. This is my biggest strength and my biggest weakness. I give people the benefit of doubt. I have been hurt so many times trying to please others, forgetting everything about my own happiness.
But today, I feel as if there is an internal change happening in me. I am very aware of this change; I feel it in my skin, in my guts. And now I feel at ease with what is inside of me. I have realized that I have been hiding from my own self and I have decided to stop.
I am starting to accept the fact that the world does not revolve around me. People do not care as much as I would like them to. I think back on all those hours I spent trying to decide what pictures to post and which statuses to upload, and now I see how baseless all that was.
You know what? People don’t care. No, they do not. And the very fact that they do not is very liberating.
I am at that point in life where I no longer care what others think about me. I no longer care if they accept me or not. I know that I am beautiful and amazing, and that is enough. I no longer compare myself to others.
I no longer have time to be secretly jealous over something someone has. Like seriously, who has time for that?
I am not the prettiest, the hottest or the thinnest. But you know what, I don’t care about any of that anymore.
I no longer feel the need to stalk people online constantly, to see everything they do, fishing for the slightest clue of betrayal. I know that those who want to stay in my life will do so no matter what. I do not have time for petty games and time passing. I do not have time for jealousy. My time is way more precious.
And I also know that regardless of what happens I will be alright. No matter what I have to go through in my life, I am going to be fine.
I do not have time for disrespect, for humiliating. And you better think twice before trying to disrespect and humiliate me because, this time, I will stand up for myself.
And I am telling you, I can spot narcissists and manipulators from a mile away. So don’t even bother.
My friends and family are the most important thing in my life. Now I have my priorities sorted and I know that what matters in life is love. I have understood that it is vital to tell those around you that you love them.
I no longer worry about what is going to happen. I keep calm and quiet until whatever happens happens. And I am not settling down for mediocre people and things. I am waiting for the real thing this time. I do not try to be perfect; I have accepted that a little misshapen is bound to happen every once in a while.
I finally own myself. It did not happen overnight, it took so many years, tears and energy. And if you are like me, I applaud you, for I know how hard the journey is.
