By. Ran
A marriage researcher determines whether or not a relationship will eventually fall apart. According to him, lack of proper communication is one of the main reasons why relationships do not work. Here are 4 things that he warns you about.
#1. Criticism.
There is a huge difference between giving your loved one feedback in a loving manner and criticizing them. It can make them feel belittled and devalued. In fact, when you criticize your partner, you are identifying and pointing out the bad things about them, unless it is constructive criticism. Instead, compliment them, promote a positive image about them. If you have to bring something into their attention, do so in the kindest and loving manner possible.
#2. Contempt.
Contempt comes in various forms. If you are name-calling, insulting, mocking or ridiculing your partner, you are basically verbally abusing them and showing contempt. Even if you think that you are just joking, it can have a lasting impact on your partner and you may become the reason why they are depressed. So stop it, and start showering them with love and affection.
#3. Defensiveness.
Don’t blame your partner every time something goes wrong. Admit and acknowledge that the fault can be yours too. Stop playing the victim all the time. So be responsible for your actions. And admit you were wrong, apologize and move forward without being controlling and manipulative towards your partner.
#4. Stonewalling.
This happens when the listener completely shuts off. In fact, stonewalling is as bad as contempt or defensiveness. When somebody is stonewalling, they lose off, tune out, act busy, and turn away. This is very disrespectful and hurts your partner’s feelings. So, no matter how angry and upset you may be, always communicate with love because no relationship can survive without proper communication.
